I have a friend who cancels on me. I've imagined a lot of excuses for her each time it happens, but my sense of allowances is stretching quite thin at this point. I was taking her out to lunch for her birthday, and asked where she wanted to go. She picked a pricey place, where I had to make reservations, and I did so, despite being super busy. Then she woke me up at 7:40 this morning to say she had invited a friend and her family for dinner, and didn't feel up to having lunch. I am now waiting for nine am to be able to call and cancel the lunch reservation.
I want to confront her, but how? I cannot dredge up the details of the other last minute cancellations, because I don't bear grudges, yet this definitely is a pattern. It makes me feel unvalued as a friend. I'm hurt. I tried to do something special for her and she's seeing it as a bother. I'm more inclined to just move away from her and avoid what will be a messy talk without any real clarity, because I've been down this road with her before. Am I being cowardly? Who cares? I do not believe this person really has a lot of understanding of others' points of view. And she has a temper. Am I scared of anger? You bet. I really, really don't like confrontations.
I definitely need a cooling off period. So I can figure out what to say, if anything. But the writing is on the wall. This person is not a friend I can trust. I feel sad about that. But I'm going to try not to take it personally. She is difficult. But she's making it not worth the effort to ride through the difficulties. In which case, there is no point in having a talk, if I don't have the heart to work things out. Oh, dear, I need to think on this!
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