I've just finished a weekend retreat that was quite lovely and inspiring. The subject was tonglen, a form of meditation where you focus on someone who is suffering, breathe in the suffering, dissolve it and then breathe out lovingkindness. Today my brother would have been 65. I cannot heal him or alleviate his suffering, but I pray for him with love. One of the touching moments of the retreat was suggestions for dying. The idea is to convey to loved ones your wishes: maybe you want people to sing to you, or quiet or encouragement or to hold your hand. Thinking about what you want ahead helps you and your family and friends. It's an act of compassion for self and others.
I will be feeling and thinking about this retreat for a long time. I'm so happy I made the choice to attend. I think of it as an investment in right speech. I heard so much and had much modeling for my own life outside the sangha. I have a lot more tools in my workbox and I plan on practicing them to become more sensitive and kind in my speech and actions. I feel fortunate and grateful.
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