I sat down at my desk last night to address some Mother's Day cards to my friends. I really enjoy taking the time and effort to appreciate my friends' mothering abilities and now grandmothering skills. I learn from them. I receive support from them. I want them acknowledged by me as courageous and creative women who have faced and face still challenges as well as the rewards of mothering. Each year I add a few more cards. Gratitude is sometimes underexpressed, and I want to add my two cents to the attention they get from their kids.
Because being a mother is a search for right speech. We want to guide but not lecture, express our love without smothering, set boundaries and limits to the purpose of promoting the feeling of safety. Yes, there are books out there, but real life situations sometimes fall between the cracks. Yes, we can emulate our parents or the opposite of our parents, but how do we carve out our own vision of the parent we want to be? Slowly, and over time, we find out what is important. We learn when to speak up and when to stay silent. We are masters of diplomacy. We could march into the U.N. and tell the world a thing or two about getting along, mediating, de-escalating. We know to put children first and protect families and give care that rises to the level of nurturing and encouragement. We could give workshops on values and moral imperatives. We know wrong speech harms as much or more than physical violence. We understand healing begins with ourselves and at home. A mother's heart is a good place to look for wisdom.
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