I had the opportunity to observe myself reacting instead of responding when our daughter stopped by and was upset with something a friend had said to her. I went all tiger mode, noticing anger arising in defense of my daughter. I couldn't just stay calm and listen, or even say I was sorry she was shaken. No, I had to criticize her friend. Then she defended her friend, and we were off to the races. I felt awful. The only good thing I did was hug her at the end. I went all Kamakaze. I'll get a chance to see her for a moment today, when she drops off something, and I'll apologize, but I sure set a bad example. Her tears undo me. What's that about? More bad behavior to examine. But now I've made it harder for her to share when she's unhappy. Because I'm fairly certain she really wanted a listener not a champion.
Back to square one. Caught off guard, I slip right into old patterning. All my practice forgotten in an instant. I wish I had a mini-me to say, shut your mouth, girl! When in emotional turmoil, silence or at least pausing is the best policy. Well, the best I can hope for is my bad example made my daughter determined NOT to follow in my footsteps. I'm going to try harder not to follow in my own footsteps. The footsteps of the Buddha, now that's a path worth taking.
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