Yesterday I took my granddaughter to see "Cinderella". She enjoyed it, but did not like the prince. She said he wasn't handsome enough, and she did not like his sideburns. She thought he was not nearly good looking enough for the actress who played Cinderella. She really had an aversion to him, though she liked his blue eyes. What was this about? She'll be ten in June. Perhaps she is taking on a preteen attitude about which guys are "hot", or she's heard such analysis from older people, or she actually transferred herself to being Cinderella and was not attracted to him. It was a clue to a growing up fast phenomenon. I felt like sex was on the table. But I had no idea how to address it. I listened and then said in many movies one half of the couple is more attractive than the other. She agreed grudgingly, but was still unsatisfied. It's funny, because with her parents her mother is beautiful, and neither of her husbands was/is super handsome. They are attractive, but not noticeably good looking. Has she heard some talk of this? Has she been around too much assessing of looks versus character qualities? I had the urge to discuss what matters in a person, but it wasn't the time or place.
But now I'm aware of perhaps an overvaluing of looks, spurred on by the culture obsessed by looks. I, myself, do not remark on my granddaughter's beauty, but she is a redhead, and gets a lot of attention everywhere we go. I talk about her determination, creativity and kindness. But maybe the world does not. How sad.
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