I've had a week away and am the better for it. I feel I made a right effort with everyone I encountered, and thus there is no "hangover", no nagging regret and going over and over what I said or was said to me. I especially enjoyed talking to my granddaughter and grandsons, and the key for me was not to have expectation or a sense that something of import needed to be stated. That made conversation relaxed, goofy and fun. I was in observation mode, watching the kids and getting a feeling sense of who they are at this time and what is going on with them. Their lives are complex, and I see the struggles as well as the delight. I sent silent compassion to them. It's not easy being a kid, but kids in joint custody have challenges. I admire their resilience.
In fact, they act as a lesson to me. They adjust to change much faster than I do. Situations that would daunt me are a piece of cake for them.
One little incident of right speech I will relate. They received their report cards the first day we were there. Their parents rightly praised them and shared with each other the good news. I did not ask to see the report cards. Of course, I would have looked if they had offered to show them. But my message was that I was happy in their presence, and the report cards were not important to me. This is true, but also, I want them to understand I value them as beings, not for their achievements. I missed my granddaughter playing a piano piece at a school talent show, and I asked if she'd be willing to play it for me, and also looked at the IPhone video. I told her how lovely it sounded. But I didn't make a big fuss. I'm leery of fusses. The child often gets lost in them. They can't accept the praise or are self critical. I want her to know I appreciate just being with her, being in her presence. She doesn't need tricks or great effort to get my attention. I am focused on her completely.
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