Perhaps I'm oversensitive about this, but commenting on a child's looks often has an unintended harmful result. From the time when I was very young I knew that when relatives called me "cute", that meant not pretty, and my brother, 2 3/4 years younger, was pretty, because he had red hair and green eyes. People fussed over him. My nine year old granddaughter is a redhead, and people touch her hair, compliment her, fuss over her. A stranger once told her her hair was a blessing from God. Now, I'm not saying that when the child is all dressed up you don't tell them they're looking "mighty fine", but 90% of our comments about children should be encouragement and praise for a job well done, as well as how well they've solved a problem or helped out. Because those are things a child can DO, no matter what the color of their hair and eyes.
Words like pretty, beautiful, gorgeous etc are usually not right speech in describing people. They're fine for paintings, landscape and flowers.
Because I knew early I was not pretty, as those words weren't used with me, I decided my power lay in my brain. And, thank goodness, I got plenty of praise for being smart. My currency was never going to be in my looks, as my mother's was, but in my mind. But that didn't heal the wound entirely, as I didn't feel pretty enough to attract the kind of guy I was attracted to, after about fifteen. I was funny, smart and had a singing voice, but I didn't have what the culture made me long for: beauty.
I refuse to help such a culture along. I KNOW what I value, and if something comes out of my mouth I try to make sure it is MY values, what I treasure in another human being. Compassion and generousity, kindness and joy in the world, these are treasured traits in a child or a friend. We should make our speech reflect what makes humans worth saving.
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