Yesterday I went to the choir meeting at my granddaughter's school in place of her mom. I did the same thing last year. The first thing I noticed was my granddaughter and her friend talking when the choir teacher was speaking to the whole group. She noticed and asked them to pipe down. I was quite the talker and note passer in elementary school myself. I often got poor citizenship marks along with my A's and B's. Friendship is more and more important at that level (my granddaughter is nine) and listening to instructions less appealing. There is an adversarial quality with authority, and it continues to grow as we grow. Our confidence may be growing or our disconnect and disturbance, but it's often manifested and speech that defies the big narrative going on.
I also noticed that the teacher was skillful at engaging the children, but having them answer all the questions posed by herself and others, and sending them to the front of the room to do so. If she asked "Why do you want to be in choir?", their answers reenforced the reason they'd signed up and focused them. All most all the answers were about a friend or sibling joining or convincing them it would be fun. Not parents. Most kids love to show off and be in front of their peers at that age, so that was encouraging as well, though there was no problem if a child was shy, as it was strictly hands up volunteering. The teacher was giving them and encouraging their voices.
As an adult along the Buddhist path, I hope to notice when I'm saying something out of an ancient adversarial impulse to push against authority, or to show off for my peers, or for reasons that are murky to me.
Also, letting others take center stage increases the likelihood of engagement and openness to communication with me, if that's my goal. Droning on and on with my own opinions shuts down the whole enterprise.
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