My husband is having trouble sleeping this week. It's not his best skill normally, but for the past few days he's really been restless. I suggested he become more active, and he's just left for a walk around a reservoir without the dogs, who are too old and slow these days. I am quite compassionate about his sleeplessness, even though it definitely affects my own sleep. He gets upset and says he'll sleep in the guest bedroom, but he never does. He feels guilty and wants me to exonerate him, so the guest bed thing won't happen. I say the same thing each time: I'm sorry you're having so much trouble.
So the war isn't between him and me, but him and him. He also yearns to have me fix it. Now I am a proficient sleeper, except for waking up at dawn. No doubt he envies this ability of mine, inherited from my father. I'm a good sleeper. Even at my age, having to get up to pee a couple of times most nights, I can go back to sleep. But it's the luck of the draw. My brain is wired differently than his. I'm also a morning person and an optimist, and I take no credit for either of those.
What do I say? I've made all the obvious suggestions, and wondered if daylight savings change messed him up. I listen but don't take responsibility. He could see our doctor. He could make some changes in his eating or routines. But it's not up to me to problem solve this issue. Right speech is detachment with a dose of sympathy.
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