Today is my husband's birthday and I served him a big breakfast in bed. We've been married forty one years so words are mostly unnecessary. Also, with him, listening is the best gift. Since he's retired he's been pretty isolated, self chosen, so he wants my ear more than ever. Sometimes I decline, and last night he wanted to tell me the plots of two BBC shows he'd watched: Trouble in Paradise and Doc Martin. I politely said no thanks. But I'm pretty tolerant of this need. I'd rather he got involved in activities and classes, but he knows that and knows he should, but can't quite get himself started. And it's his life and timeline.
I go out a lot, and do things with friends and have groups and activities, because I need more varied socialization. I like people, have friends I truly enjoy, and I don't share a lot of interests with my husband. That's fine with me. I don't expect one other person to fulfill me, or, as the Jerry Maguire movie says, "you complete me". I'm not a fan of that kind of marriage, though I have friends who believe and have lived with that principle. I guess I need a lot of breathing room.
My husband respects that and even encourages me to get out and do things with others. So that's all I need. And the right of refusal about plotlines in mystery shows.
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