My friend has a bad flu and has texted me that she's not up to phone calls and the like. I appreciate her boundaries, and it means I don't have to imagine some estrangement or other problem. I'm just waiting until she contacts me. And her text reminds me that talking to others is an EFFORT. It requires lucidity and intention and careful choice of language. Sure it happens without all that, but sometimes the results are disasterous. My friend knows that she needs her wits about her to be not harmful. Sometimes we forget the power of words and the carelessness that can get us into trouble.
When we go quiet, it might be to think something over before we speak to that person, or to figure out what it is we are feeling, or orchestrate the right speech before we actually open our mouths. This is awareness, and it shows a profound respect for the person we are going to address. And, as Suzuki Roshi said, "It's never to late". Never too late to say what it has taken us a long time to formulate, or revise something we've said before and regret. It's never too late to express gratitude or love or appreciation. Whenever it happens, go for it.
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