We had dinner at our younger daughter's and son-in-law's place last night with his parents who are visiting them. I like them more as I get to know them, though we haven't much in common. We got along well last night, and watched the blood moon/eclipse together in front of the flat. But when we went home my husband had really had an awful time. Nothing bad had happened, he just had a completely different experience than I had. It was a wake up for me. He and I are very different people. Socializing is stressful for him and I enjoy it (excuse the generalizing, sometimes it's the opposite). His reaction reminds me that my world is subjective, and not "the truth".
I've learned not to argue him out of his own opinion. I try to respect his viewpoint. But it is the Mars/Venus dilemma, and I'm afraid he gets discouraged if I don't see the interaction his way. It makes him feel worse, as if he has no right to his opinion unless I can be persuaded to his "side". I don't believe in sides, and I'm certainly too old to pretend to agree with my husband of 41 years. It's like we inhabit parallel universes, as in a Murakami novel. But it serves to remind me that everyone is subjective and not to assume people are in agreement about what they see and hear. We all filter reality through our unique prism. It's really pretty fascinating.
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