For me right speech includes what I write, as I am so oriented towards expressing myself in writing. Yesterday I wrote the beginning of something new and it felt so good. I was telling about a visit to India 15 years ago to visit my daughter, and the funny things that happened during the visit. It's liberating to be writing something new, and I'm not sure why. I deepest aspiration was always to be a writer. As a child I kept diaries and wrote poetry. There has never been a time in my life when I wasn't at least writing in a journal. In my twenties I wrote poetry, and was part of a poetry collective. When a friend died I wrote a book about the experience and my attempts to "save" her. In my thirties and forties I tried my hand at novels and a memoir. I've usually been in a writer's group, and I've done workshops, retreats, writer's conferences.
I feel at home writing, whereas with speaking aloud there is an accompanying anxiety at times, and a judgmental voice in my head criticizing what I say. I over analyze and over inflate the importance of what I say. My comfort zone is pen and paper, well keyboard and computer. In my group, I often forget my fellow writers feel more at home speaking than writing. I guess the habit of writing has relaxed me about what I write. Habit, both in my Buddhist practice and in my daily writing habit, gives me a sense of peace. So much so that perhaps I need to be carefully awake instead of drowsy and slumped when I write or meditate. But mostly, the joy of both practices keeps me fully engaged.
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