Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

My husband and I finished watching the film "Wild", which I had previously seen in a movie theater by myself.  His reaction was different from mine, probably some of it based on gender.  He didn't like the character "Cheryl", and therefore was not engaged by her quest.  I certainly don't condone her behavior, but I feel the movie adequately shows the viewer the reasons:  her mother had died suddenly, she had no support system to help her through the healthcare issues, she had a breakdown and was self destructive, and her family life before had been harmful, with an abusive father that her mother finally left.  I had compassion.  I understood her need to purify herself and start anew.  My husband wanted to see what had changed in the end, but the only thing that had changed was Cheryl's view of who she was.  She now was a survivor, could use the memories of her mother to guide her, and realized she wanted to live not die.  There was nothing visible or tangible at the end.  It was a shift.

But what I admire is the writer Cheryl Strayed's candor.  She was willing to expose her drug addiction, careless sex, and destruction of her marriage.  She spoke the truth, daring to be judged, not fearing such judgment, because she'd been her own harshest judge before.  She was brave enough to be transparent.  My husband feels feelings should be hidden and managed at all times.  He doesn't like the idea of exposure.  He's protected himself by what he doesn't say.  His point of view has validity and is right for him. 

But is it partially because he's a man?  The women I am close with are more honest about their thoughts and feelings, not with everyone, but more regularly.  We trust in the empathy of our women friends.  This is gross generalizing, but maybe men can't trust men friends to not be competitive or judge.  Maybe they have no feeling of safety.  Now, women gossip, and we try to be circumspect about what we tell to whom, but our image isn't so often built on an idea of perfection.  Men expect perhaps more of themselves and need that image to be shiny.  I don't really know.  I just felt, last night, that something about our differing views was about speech, and what is right and wrong speech.  He was offended by the privacy violation of such a story, and I understood why breaking that taboo was freeing for the author.  There is no right or wrong interpretation, but I felt aided in my understanding of the film by simply being a woman.  Interesting.