Tonight my quiet time will be over. My husband is returning, and I have a writing group this evening. I look forward to both these things, and am ready to open my mouth. This weekend pause also has been long enough to set me upright again. Remember "weebles wobble but the don't fall down"? I am a weeble. I get centered, then I lean. I get centered then a big emotion or event or thought has me wobbling like jelly in an earthquake. The pausing, the silence, is what makes me quiet down and stabilize. My heart closed a bit like eyelids resting, and now I'm ready to open it all the way again and see what comes.
Without having any intention to organize, this morning I came to the studio and took out all my writing and put novels in progress together, poems, blogs, the whole nine yards. I discovered that the reason I'm having trouble in organizing my book about Fiji is I have too many versions printed out. It's disorganized and confusing. No wonder when I get feedback I don't incorporate it into the desktop version. Hundreds of pages, but the book is one fifth the size of my mountain of pages. I have not pared down, but now I know what I need to do to feel in control of this book. Having this pause this weekend clarified a problem for me that I hadn't realized I had. So I'm grateful for my husband's departure, the phone not ringing, and no real tasks to be done, so that I could have the clutter in my mind settle down enough to get a true picture of my reluctance to work on the book. I can work now, and will start by sorting through the pages until I have one clean copy. Maybe it should be chronological as well. I've put the cart before the horse by mixing the sections all up. I thought I was so clever, but ironically, I confused myself. Weebles rule!
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