Well, right speech is the weather channel, as it has just begun raining. Boy oh boy do we need it. I'm in a holding pattern as I am picking up my dear friend's mom from a surgical procedure sometime today. I'm awaiting the call. Her mom is a character. At 92, she is feisty and stubborn, and had to be tricked into living with her daughter. She is happy here, but will she admit it? No way. So the subject of going back is never broached, as she bristles at the thought. Yet it's been over a year, and she hasn't left, and actually can't without help. You can tell from the twinkle in her eye she's relieved and enjoys the lively activities around her. But gratitude? No way Jose. She's not about to concede defeat, and everyone else avoids the topic, as it makes her so anxious. It's as if speaking the words: "I live with my daughter now" would be a battle lost, instead of a statement of good fortune.
So our right speech is not to refer to the fact that she lives in California now, and to let her tell her story as she wishes. I guess in her mind she's just visiting. It makes her feel safer and not so dependent. She's a tiger, and I like that about her. I stay on safe subjects with her, such as old movies, details of my daughter's upcoming wedding, and idle chat. But last Sunday, since the bridal shower was at her daughter's house, she got to be in the middle of the fun, and after everyone else left, my daughter opened all her presents there, because my friend's mom had voiced an opinion that seeing the gifts was half the fun. My daughter opted not to open them while the party was going on, but she conceded the Mom's point by making sure she saw all the presents. And there she was, right next to my daughter, having a ball. But not saying a word to admit it.
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