I have no idea if other people have this experience, but with my kids' spouses' parents, there is no direct communication, just messages directed through the kids. I don't see why, if they have a question for me, they don't write or call directly, but it doesn't seem to happen. When I contact them directly, there is no response: they answer through my kid. This may be ediquette. But it's strange to me. There evidently needs to be a buffer zone. After many years I do call or write directly my older daughter's exhusband's mother. It's so simple and easy. We exchange photos. We admire our shared granddaughter. That was my first kid to get married, so it's been like fifteen or more years. And, of course, our kids are no longer married, but they are the parents of our beloved granddaughter. Maybe I'm just impatient and in time I'll be able to talk directly to the other in-laws.
I'm thinking that part of this is proving to the kids how wonderful and thoughtful they are, without actually having to deal with us much. And that could be a wise thing to do. We're not so fabulous or interesting, after all. It's just not really rational to me. But hey, much in this world has the appearance to me of the non-rational, so what do I know? Not the mores of inter in-law international cooperation, that's for sure!
No comments:
Post a Comment