Right speech often is a sticky subject. I'm grappling right now with an elephant-in-the-room situation in a group I'm in. I want to discuss it, but others don't and feel that it might be harmful to talk about the person involved. Since I am not queen of right speech, I hesitate, since knowing what will be harmful, is at best, guesswork. So I've said nothing. I've described my concerns to my therapist, but her response has me thinking I should respond within the group as well. Yet, while I was away the group did discuss the situation with the person involved and decided to keep the status quo. Fine, except I feel there is danger not addressed honestly in the group.
My heart feels wrong about this. But I don't want to rock the boat. This is how it feels when someone says something racist, or denigrates a person with me as a witness. It's wrong not to speak up, but speaking up will be so painful for the person and possibly damaging to the group and our closeness over decades.
I'm fearful. I don't have a lot of courage. I've done courageous acts, as have most people, but I generally don't want to stick out. I don't welcome CHANGE. I'd like to stick my head in the sand. That works, unless something bad happens and I know I might have prevented it.
I'm going to grapple with this some more. Hopefully, some wisdom will surface. My therapist says I could quit the group and therefore not be a party to the disfunction. That is a scary step. It feels like judging them all. And I love them all. But as I describe my dilemma, I think of my Al-ANON meetings. Am I enabling the group to remain willfully blind? Oh, dear. I'm waiting for more clarity, because no one else can answer what action I should take but me. At least I'm pausing, reflecting, hearing all sides.
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