Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

In May, I visited the town where I lived for six years as a kid.  I'd seen some of the people since then, but not in that town.  I stayed with my friend.  Now this town is in the South, and politics and viewpoints differ but generally don't coincide with my own.  I got baited a bit for being from a liberal state and town, and was teased I was a hippie, and about the current President.  That kind of thing.  I laughed and didn't engage.  I had determined before I set out on the trip not to argue.  What is the point?  I wanted to respect them and their different environment, which has it's plusses and minuses.

I sat silent when no one had seen the movie "Lincoln".  He's not generally a hero there.  I'd kind of forgotten that.  I heard about Grant's drunkenness, as if that was the only thing he brought to the table.  I listened to a strange convoluted excuse for slavery in the South.  I did not take communion at the church where I attended a funeral, but I wasn't the only one to stay seated.

When I returned home I felt I'd stayed on the road to right speech, without straying into road rage.  I was proud of myself.  I wanted to hear what these other people had to say, not what I already knew I thought.  And yet.  A lot of talking was required to get the disturbance I felt inside out of my system.  I talked at length to friends and described what had happened.  I spent a session with my therapist.

There was a cost to all that detachment and disengagement.  I was chock full of feelings.  I was angry at some of the speech I had heard.  I really had to talk it all out later.  Maybe I was able to stay on track while away because I knew I had a safe sounding board when I returned.  I didn't live there so why upset people? 

If I had been more skillful, I might have responded in a way that didn't shut down the other person.  I did try humor whenever possible.  When they asked me if I was a Republican I replied "Absolutely" with a grin.  I said another time if a hippie was a dress code, then yes, I'd been one, but otherwise I was married with two toddlers and too busy for parties and drugs.  I didn't say I wasn't too busy to demonstrate with King and Chavez and begin a Nuclear Disarmament group.  Why go there?

The trip was a deep experience, delightful and challenging, insightful and full of friendliness and beauty.  And I'm still thinking over my behavior, not anyone else's.  So that I can become more skilled at being as honest balanced against  kind and non-harming.  And I can practice right here at home.