I'm feeling grateful that my daughter's dear friend, whose baby was due nine weeks from now, has safely delivered her son by C Section and though he will be in the hospital for some weeks, both are fine. My daughter replied immediately when I texted, and that is right speech. She does not want me to worry. Sometimes speediness is right speech even if the words are not chosen wisely or well. Some people have a knack for knowing how to impart information smoothly and quickly when anxiety is high. My kids knew if they called late at night to first say they were fine, then detail the ride needed, the car broken down, the missed connection, the lost cell phone.
Prefacing the beginning of a call or an encounter with reassuring information is compassionate. If possible, it is a good idea to figure out exactly how to begin the conversation in the most calm and comforting manner. Sometimes the news is bad, and the anxiety of the listener will be worse after hearing the news, but still, speaking carefully helps process the situation. When a policeman called about my brother's death, he asked first if I knew him, and I quickly said I was his sister. I knew a policeman in Texas would only be calling with bad or worse news. It was worse, but his calm slow drawl helped me not scream or drop the phone, and I was able to hear the details and respond that I would find a flight and call him back with the info.
Then I sat there stunned, and retold the conversation to my husband. But the policeman's skills enabled me to take in the information and know what I wanted to do next. That was a professional kindness, but I appreciated it none the less. When it later turned out he'd done a bad job of finding a will or notes (he missed them on my brother's desk completely, even missed the room) I was able to be calm and not confront him. He was a policeman in a small town who was a novice. I forgave him, because it seemed he was compassionate. So the delivery is huge.
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