By late afternoon yesterday my bank deposit problem was solved. I bent over backwards to be friendly and cooperative, and probably it helped that my big lug of a husband was there this time as well. I did not argue when they changed their story of the deposits the day before. I had brief visions of Kafka's world, but I kept my mouth shut. And something had changed with them as well. They wanted to be a financial advisor to me. I swept through that with a many thanks answer and that I'd had one for 30 years I was satisfied with. But I took their cards and I really did feel they treated me well yesterday.
The trouble with all this stuff is I still become teary around my brother's estate. I feel his loss and become disturbed. I was doing a lot of silent praying and managed to appear calm. I was suffering, but I was doing it for my kids. It's their inheritance. For myself, I usually have a lot more trouble speaking up and being assertive. But all this court, bank, financial institutions, real estate business has toughened me up. I am more assertive. I've noticed that I am often the only really logical and pragmatic person in the room. So I don't defer as I used to before my brother died. I also don't let my husband take over. It's my brother, and everything that's happened has devolved from that connection. I have finally realized I'm better at this financial stuff than he is. Despite myself.
I feel proud of myself and better about my bank. I had to push to get the treatment I wanted, but I accept that. Momentum begins with a push.
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