Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

By late afternoon yesterday my bank deposit problem was solved.  I bent over backwards to be friendly and cooperative, and probably it helped that my big lug of a husband was there this time as well.  I did not argue when they changed their story of the deposits the day before.  I had brief visions of Kafka's world, but I kept my mouth shut.  And something had changed with them as well.  They wanted to be a financial advisor to me.  I swept through that with a many thanks answer and that I'd had one for 30 years I was satisfied with.  But I took their cards and I really did feel they treated me well yesterday.

The trouble with all this stuff is I still become teary around my brother's estate.  I feel his loss and become disturbed.  I was doing a lot of silent praying and managed to appear calm.  I was suffering, but I was doing it for my kids.  It's their inheritance.  For myself, I usually have a lot more trouble speaking up and being assertive.  But all this court, bank, financial institutions, real estate business has toughened me up.  I am more assertive.  I've noticed that I am often the only really logical and pragmatic person in the room.  So I don't defer as I used to before my brother died.  I also don't let my husband take over.  It's my brother, and everything that's happened has devolved from that connection.  I have finally realized I'm better at this financial stuff than he is.  Despite myself.

I feel proud of myself and better about my bank.  I had to push to get the treatment I wanted, but I accept that.  Momentum begins with a push.

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