I had a good talk with my best friend and decided to keep my mouth shut about my granddaughter's new music tastes and issues I have recently with some friends' tone deafness to my needs. I want to remain a grandmother who can be confided in and a friend occasionally saying "no" to plans that don't really work for me. What a concept!
In fact, keeping my mouth shut is a policy that works very well for me. That way I get to see how fast or if my feelings change before I upset someone else and myself. Also, the pause gives me time for reflection and assessment. Is the effort worth it? In other words, is there a possibility of changing the relationship or is this the way it is? Mostly, when I wait, I am relieved I was not impulsive. Either I can corral my words into coherence or I've moved on. Moving on is good.
I'm in the position that most of my relationships are long term and of course there are going to be ups and downs and moving closer and moving away. I'm in for the long haul. If an issue persists, then I address it with the other, but I accept cycles among friends and relatives. I accept it in my marriage. Decades and decades do give me perspective. But it helps to have a buddy to touch base with, and she rebalances me when I'm tipping over. I may be a little teapot short and stout, but she keeps me from spilling over and draining out!
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