The kindness of right speech cannot be overestimated. I've just returned from a week away to settle my brother's affairs, and the sensitivity of the judge, my lawyer, the real estate people, the estate sale person, the accountant and so many others made all the arrangements as easy as possible. These are what are called "good Christian people", but they are like any people with a code of moral behavior: you recognize the intent and appreciate the comfort of the structure. People were sympathetic. I felt it. Their words were not hollow. They were following the : there but for the grace of God go I.
I took every opportunity to remind people there that my brother was a terrific human being, that I loved him so much, that it WAS a tragedy that he died. I spoke up for those who never knew him. I will honor him in some way when his house, car and stuff is sold. I will make the perhaps hopeless effort to keep his memory alive. I will speak well of him, and tell stories and not forget. But I feel him disappearing. It is very painful.
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