I spent last night in the emergency room checking out a throbbing in my neck. I called the on call doctor first, and he suggested I go in. It was the usual bizarre dreamlike atmosphere. There was screaming, there was partying, there were police. I was there seven hours, but the news was good. Again, since I'm noticing these things these days: nobody promised me a rose garden and the nurses, doctors and techs were minding their speech. They've been well trained, and are sensitive. So the doctor wasn't promising 100% probability, not that I'd have believed him if he had, and the nurses were not sure when the lab work would be back and then they did it all over again to be sure. I did not have a heart problem. What I did have was left honestly unexplained. One of those mysteries that keep cropping up.
Throughout it all the monitor was beeping as if I was about to go into cardiac arrest, a nurse would come in and fiddle with it, it would be silent for a couple of minutes, they would leave and it would beep again. I felt like I was on a submarine during World War II. I finally suggested they hit it once, and the nurse agreed she'd like to. I was released, awash with relief, and we came back, had breakfast and tried to sleep. More trying to sleep will ensue, but I just walked the dogs, since they had no idea we'd been gone all night and do better if their routine remains the same.
I'm stressed. And again I will attempt to take care of myself. I consider going to the emergency room taking care of myself. I spoke up, woke my husband, we looked in books and online, I had the nerve to wake up the on call doctor, I said look at me. I come from a stoic family, so it took a whole lot of nerve, and not to feel silly when it was nothing serious. I was delighted it was nothing serious. I felt I'd been given a reprieve. More life to live. And treasure.
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