My granddaughter and I browsed in a used toy store yesterday afternoon. She scored, because she found some PetShop animals she collects. And I found an Elmo puppet for her toddler sister. When she asked me if I thought the owner would sell two PetShop animals without the lighted stage, I told her to ask herself and she did. The owner said no, I offered to buy the set for her (we're talking $12 here) but she made the decision not to waste the set since she didn't want the stage, and then carefully selected two loose animals in plastic bags. Again she asked the owner if the one, a dog, had stuff that would come off. The owner told her they were used so there was certain wear and tear, but it might wash off. My granddaughter took a chance, I paid for the two animals at $2.50 each, we returned home and the stuff washed right off. She kept saying how pleased and excited she was.
I praised her careful assessment of what she wanted, her restraint in not picking the bird and another dog as well, and her not wasting the stage, since she said she'd never use it. I also said I admired how careful she was in building her collection. She now has 8 animals, when she could have many more from her savings. She doesn't like the birds, so she avoided the temptation of the one in the store that was in great shape and I thought was adorable. I said I liked her thinking process.
This is right speech: to encourage her to ask the awkward questions of the owner herself, to see the owner treated her seriously and with respect, to be able to articulate her decision making.
My right speech: Being a witness to her shopping, curious about her thinking, interested and not judgmental about toys I actually think are plastic junk. I was respectful. And fascinated by her mind.
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