Sometimes right speech is having someone speak for you. Yesterday our younger son went to an auction house with my brother's stuff and had it appraised and found out how it would work if they took it to sell. At first I was going to go, but then I thought, no, he's super competent, and I'm emotionally disturbed whenever I deal with my brother's things. So he went, came back several hours later, and made it so easy for me. I will be able to let him handle most of it, and it is such a relief to me to let go of the responsibility and give it over to a more impartial person. Much of what I've had to do legally has required my voice and body. I'm the sole trustee and the inheritor of his estate. They want to speak to me. But when they don't, I see that as an opportunity to protect myself from stress, and I'm choosing to step back.
My son is the right person because he's confident and enjoys negotiations. I also do, but not with this. After many months just speaking about my brother can bring tears to my eyes and voice. I'm grieving.
This is about not having to be in control all the time and trusting. I've had many lessons about both of these issues and will no doubt experience many more. So, anyway, I have a spokesperson. It feels great.
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