I had a nice Mother's Day. It began with a dharma talk about taming the mind. My teacher used the Zen ox metaphor, about looking for the ox, trying to tame the ox, sitting on the ox, finally playing the flute on the ox and in the end, the ox being gone. Most of us have to live with the ox our whole lives, sometimes being bucked off, sometimes sitting on the back with trepidation. But more and more I'm able to observe my mind having a calm moment. Progress is evident. Enlightenment still far away.
At the dinner where three of my kids and their spouses/partner were present, my younger son asked me what I liked best about being a parent, and several spoke up and chimed in "being a grandparent", but I said really the best thing was seeing them grow up, change, make life decisions, and find their path. Grandchildren are amazing, but my fascination is mostly with my kids and their choices. They surprise me, astound me at times, and make me proud. Who they are is validation for all my efforts. I love being a witness to their lives. My life is pretty quiet and undramatic, but theirs are filled with events and pledges and romance and children and career movement. It's exhausting, thinking that I once lived at that level of intensity. But I did it, and now they are. Fascinating!
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