Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

One of the many things I loved about my Zen teacher who died almost three days ago was how she embodied human contradictions. She was blunt and could hurt others' feelings, she had quite a temper on display, and she could be scary. She was a tiger, fierce and determined, and often the student felt like a baby antelope. She had a complex history, and she was a child of the sixties, for sure. A wild child, but with a side that allowed her to nurse Suzuki Roshi gently as he died of cancer. She herself battled cancer several times, only to be felled by it at last. People were passionate about her pro and con. She stirred things up. The more she disturbed me the more the box I had locked myself in cracked open and I had insights about my body, my history, and my patterns. I'm writing this in the studio I lent to her for many years so she could do her interviews when she was in our area. In between interviews, she critized my "infestation" of squirrels, offered trapping advice, lectured me on my plants and how to trim them, and laughed her gap toothed grin with me about silly things. She was interested in EVERYTHING. She knew who slept with who, had studied under all the great Buddhists, and traveled everywhere. Her devotion to her husband (her second) and her fondness for her first husband were great examples of being in the moment, not the past. She used her own road rage as an example of reacting not responding. She did not have grandchildren but gave me two puppets and three lions for mine. I, in turn, gave her many statues of quails, her favorite bird. She loved her dogs, the badly behaved ones, the one who bit men, the ones who pooped and peed all over the floor. She was a sucker for a rescue dog. When her husband died, I believe she was ready to ease out herself. Alzheimers was imprisoning her. She happily lived with her daughter, but she was meant to rule her own kingdom, not be a guest. I'm sure she now surrounds those she loves and gets that goofy grin when we mess up. We could all use a little lightening up right now, and she's just the being to make us see it. The cosmic zaniness and the utter joy of our lives here on earth.