Negotiating how much to say about my kids to each other is challenging. I don't want to betray confidences or criticize. My default position is to listen and not comment, yet I find myself explaining or defending the subject if I'm not careful. Normal worry or noticing something seems okay to discuss. But sometimes I know more and other times less. What about "filling in". Tricky territory.
I had a fun time today with my daughter, but I was more silent than usual because I didn't feel comfortable about certain subjects, either because I didn't trust myself or I didn't want to worry her. This second guessing is a bad habit of mine. My caretaker mode goes into hyper drive and I get delusions of power. I think I "know" things. Very dangerous territory for me. I'm better off being curious about another's "take" on a situation. Then I learn something. But what contortions I go through at times to get to that place of being open and curious. I often begin from old stale thoughts that are really only suppositions.
I at least know some of my own mind patterns and try to counter them quickly. And that is the degree of progress I've gotten to at this point. And I ain't no spring chicken!
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