Yesterday my younger daughter and I went to visit the new baby. And I noticed that my daughter-in-law's mother was warmer to me and more talkative. In the past she's been quite cool. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that my dogged politeness has paid off. Whatever aversion and distrust she seemed to feel before has softened, maybe because of my determination to back off and give her the rights as First Grandmother, or maybe because a baby brings people together. The important thing for me is to be aware of it and not be acting out of previous experience, but rather with what is happening now.
I enjoyed talking with her yesterday and relaxed around her. She's a tiger with her daughter and yet she's been with her almost three weeks, so the hunger and missing she experiences has been sated, and she knows she's coming back in January. I've been careful to come up only once a week and let her interact with the baby and her daughter however she wishes. I am reassured I will have my own time after she is gone, but I won't be needed as much as she has been, because the parents have gotten their bearings and are feeling more confident now.
I'm grateful for this change, and know it will benefit our kids and grandkids as well.
No comments:
Post a Comment