I'm going to the eye doctor today to check and see if my bleed is still dry. I'm used to it, but not sanguine. I become very stressed beforehand, and doing the eye test has become scary. Maybe it's the eleven years I've dealt with this fear of losing sight, or more sight, I should say. Instead of calming me, I've got that dread that something bad is coming. I've only got the one good eye, and if/when that goes I'll not be able to read or drive or be as independent. I had kind of relaxed into the degree of vision loss for ten years, but since the new bleed in May, the ground beneath my feet has shifted. Yes, they have given me back the sight I just lost this year by the amazing injection they can do, but it's shaken me.
This Thursday I see my therapist for the first time in a while, and I need to talk about my stress. I need to admit the cost to me daily, with the possibility of vision loss haunting me. I was coping well, but right now I'm not. It's time to fess up and get more support.
No comments:
Post a Comment