Yesterday my son helped me plan for my husband's birthday a few months hence. We got a lot done, and as we were doing it online and by phone, I was struck yet again with how smooth and poised our son is with people. He has such a friendly, easy manner and people respond really well to him. He has a flash of my father, who loved engaging with others most of the time, and even mannerisms that remind me of my dad. What a gift it is to instinctually know the way to speak to others. I'm sometimes able to engage well, but I'm shy, so with strangers or people on the phone I don't appear open or friendly. All of our kids are better at the poise thing than my husband and I, and what a blessing it is.
I really enjoy people, and love a chat, but in groups I freeze. Groups trigger an ancient shyness from the experience of being the new kid in the classroom. I lose all confidence that anyone would want to meet me. I feel I have nothing to offer. But I can see this is narcissism on my part. Really, other people are shy as well and feeling like deer in the headlights. If I can keep the focus on the other person I behave better and DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. What a concept, as my dad would say. If I concentrate on putting others at their ease, I warm up. "Get over yourself" is an excellent mantra for me. And it's gratifying to see my kids have leaped over that hurdle way ahead of me.
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