Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I walked with a friend this morning, and part of our conversation was about her mother-in-law, who has dementia and is in a memory care facility.  She is past all pleasures and is being awakened to eat.  Yet her body is resilient, and she is on no medication.  I have another friend whose mother is deteriorating in a similar way, and a friend whose mom is sharp as a tack but who wants to die, but her body is fighting gallantly to keep on going.  It's sad to witness, and to be responsible for these older ladies is terrifying.  For two of the women all quality of life is gone.  For the third, she IS the witness to her own decline, and wishes she wasn't.  I lost my parents way too soon, but they were fully cognizant up until their deaths.  My father could ask himself for his friend to give his eulogy, and make choices about how and where he died.  My mother had had a fun day the day before she died, shopping and lunching with a girl friend.  She woke up and her stomach was upset and as she stood at the sink she collapsed and died instantly.  They were present.  I feel for my friends who have parents who are absent in spirit, but their bodies remain, shells not fully inhabited.  It's not fair, but it is how complex life can be.