Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I was somewhat disconcerted last night when the gratitude journal I'm writing in each night asked the question who was I more myself with.  I first felt that I didn't know what myself consisted of, and then that I am rarely myself with others, even my closest friends and husband.  To say I hold things close to the vest is an understatement.  I learned to do this because I got teased a lot as a child, especially within the family.  I don't want to be vulnerable.  I wrote last night that I'm most myself in my writing or alone in nature.  I avoid confrontation, which means I don't address my hurt feelings or even misunderstandings with others, because in the past the outcome has been so disappointing.  But I realize these days I feel most myself when I tap into my Buddha nature.  When I feel compassionate and do kind acts or speech, then I know I'm home true.  So the rest of it:  the grudges, hurt feelings and judging, is not me and I don't need to take it personally.  I am getting free of that delusion, and my relationships with others should be updated to reflect increasing trust and connection.  Something to work on, for sure.