Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I read that tonight and tomorrow morning there is a Super Moon, huge and dramatic, and since it is visible during my awake hours, I'm planning on viewing.  Last night, I could not sleep, but nothing was running through my mind and I hadn't had caffeine or a large dinner or any of the usual culprits.  I was calmly reading before bed, a mystery by Jane Harper called "The Lost Man" which is the third book she's written and I'm devoted at this point.  She writes about the way outback in Australia, and she is so skilled that it comes to life vividly.  But nothing really has happened in the book yet to disturb me.  Something must have been triggered.  Maybe it's the sense of the main character's utter loneliness; living alone, being estranged from his family and his son, and the speculation that his brother, who has been found dead of natural causes, but away from his vehicle, which had all the supplies he needed to survive and was running fine.  Everyone wonders if it was a kind of suicide, and maybe I thought of my brother.  Suicide inevitably causes the survivors to wonder why, even if, in my case, my brother left a note.  My best friend in my twenties also killed herself, but we had talked and I'd begged her to see a therapist, and I told her husband to get her help immediately, but he didn't.  Plus there was suicide in the family.  I also had a friend who in her early sixties killed herself, but I felt I understood why, from what she'd shared with me.  But my brother, well, there are plenty of reasons, but I guess I can't accept any of them.