I used to work with the victims of domestic violence, and over the years I realized the earlier such violence is addressed, the better. We began going into high schools, as date abuse was an issue, but in my heart of hearts I knew the answer was easier and more complicated. We needed to make sure small children did not grow up seeing abuse or being abused, and that meant a kind of interference that would never be allowed. Little girls learn everything is their fault and they deserve to be hit. Little boys learn if they are frustrated or angry hitting mommy or sister is the answer. We counselors had a fantasy of kidnapping all these children and saving them from a life of repeating the violence.
The hatred and violence we are seeing now, all over the world, began in a home where the man was a tyrant and the women and children afraid of him. Who wants to be powerless? So the boys emulate it and the girls placate it. Patriarchy ends up causing this belligerent, nasty atmosphere we live in. And why do women vote for men who abuse women? Because if it is pervasive, you don't even notice sometimes. You think it is god's will. You are told your job is to nurture and support and look beautiful and you will be rewarded.
This is how big the problem with our world is. Can it be changed? One family at a time only. But with policies and leaders who address it, a lot of the family dynamic could be changed. I don't believe men are happy being bullies. They need to be freed up as much as the women and children. We should all be working for the elimination of domestic violence, if we want a peaceful world.
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