Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Out of the blue I received an email that an old friend had died, at 66. They live in Illnois, and we have known them for forty years, yet they had not communicated for a while, so we assumed everything was well. But the wife had cancer, and today her husband emailed, including the funeral service, where to donate, and a video option to film a message. She was so young, and a school psychologist. Their daughter lived out here for a while and they stayed with us several times when they came out to visit her. I assume our friend chose not to share her diagnosis and treatment with others. Many people don't like to be considered a victim. They don't want the cards and flowers and fruit baskets and prayers and calls. I respect that, but it does leave my husband and I with the feeling that we've missed the boat, and cannot grieve adequately. The shock is too great. I feel for our friend, his daughter, son-in-law, granddaughter and son. But the lack of connection for so long makes this seem surreal and unabsorbable.