When we awoke this morning my husband asked me what I was thinking about and I said "eyebrows". Thus I revealed the shallow state of my mind. The trust and long relationship causing me to state exactly what I was thinking is evident. Sometimes I say "nothing". My husband then proceeded to describe one of his dreams, which involved me driving at excess speed and running all the yellow lights. That paused us both. I am an overcautious driver and never speed. What could it mean?
Danger?
Then we laughed, two older people so far from pretending we are more interesting, intelligent, witty than we are that we can be transparent. This is what a long relationship can yield: freedom from entertaining the other or constructing false selves. It's what those of us who stick with it gain from the effort, challenges and setbacks inherent in knowing each other a long, long time. I have this relationship with several friends as well, and I treasure it. I can be myself, or my non-self, as the case may be.
I don't form, shape or rehearse my discourse, I remain open and curious about what thoughts are floating through my brain. But unattached. These thoughts are not me.
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