I'm back from a week on the east coast. Mostly, I was careful in my speech, and felt good about myself, but at the party in celebration of our daughter's and son-in-law's wedding, I talked myself hoarse, and later my husband noted to me that when I was sitting with an African-American couple, at one point I said I had a "black thumb" when it comes to gardening. We were discussing how none of us could get Poinsetta plants to grown the red leaves again after we planted them in the ground or a pot. I felt mortified when my husband related my faux-pas. I don't remember noticing any reaction from them, and I only had half a beer the whole evening, so I think I was pretty sharp. But, lordy, lordy, how embarassing.
So now I've embarked on a campaign to not use the word "black" in it's negative connotations any more. I can only call up, at this point in time, that phrase "black thumb". I know I am careful about references to left being sinister, as I am left handed. But I'm resolved that "black thumb" is out of my vocabulary from now on. Since our language often uses "black" and "white" as synonymous with good and evil it takes some doing to eradicate the loaded phrases that come to mind, and all this proves again that pausing before speaking and being super aware of language is essential.
I suppose out of the many words I used at the party, and all to strangers, I didn't goof up too badly. But I'm shocked at how insidiously language can harm, and I'm going to keep on working on what comes out of my mouth as rigorously as I'm able.
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