Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I live in an area where we interface with the homeless continually.  I went through a phase when I gave money and let them tell me wild stories about children with chicken pox and the long sorted history of their substance abuse.  That got them pounding on my door and begging to wash my car.  I awoke each morning at dawn to two homeless men coming from opposite ends of the street with their shopping carts rattling and clanging.  One of them sang "Home on the Range" angrily at the top of his lungs. 

When we moved a few blocks away, I was determined to remain incognito.  But I still walked the same streets.  Turning away and not making eye contact, acting as if they were invisible, felt terrible.  No speech seemed a condemnation.  It felt wrong.  Giving money directly was paying for their drugs or alcohol, and that felt like enabling.  So I came up with the plan to give to shelters and food banks, but not directly to these people.  If I went in a food place, I'd come out with a sandwich or coffee and give it to them, but otherwise, no exchange. 

But I decided to acknowledge them, each and every one.  Look them in the eye and respond verbally in some way, so they'd know I'd really seen them.  If they asked for money, I'd say "No, I"m sorry, but have a good day".  If they said "Have a nice day" I'd answer, "You too.  Looks like it's going to be a beauty."  Even in the car, yesterday, a guy was walking along the meridian with a cardboard sign asking for help.  I looked over at him and mouthed "no" but nodded.

I don't kid myself they appreciate my sensitivity.  Most of them are mentally ill and have little awareness of others.  But I won't turn away from this tragedy of people out on the streets with no one to help them with meds or shelter.  The police have become social workers, and I've seen them be very tender.  But there is no structure to care for these people.  It's a shame.

There is one very overweight woman who sits at the corner where my bank is.  I speak to her every time, and after going through her getting angry at me, shouting, because I won't give money, she now exchanges pleasantries with me.  She's one of my neighborhood people and I'm one of hers.  We share a community.  I admire the smarts that has her placed next to the ATM.  I guess it must work out well enough for her.  She's coping, and I respect that, and I'm rooting for her, even if I don't subsidize her.