Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I am really struggling with my depression. It keeps me from getting out and doing things, and makes me fatigued. I believe that while covid was hamstringing us, I felt in the same boat as everyone else, but now that others are picking up their lives and traveling I cannot quite summon the energy to visit people or go somewhere new or even shop or call people. I need to have some plans besides the memorial service for our daughter in the fall. That she is dead and I'm alive just seems bizarre. I'm disoriented. And the pandemic made me feel that being older is being useless and expendible. I have no value in this culture. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow, and I did take a walk this afternoon by myself, even after we took our grandson for a stroll this morning. I mailed two cards to a friend who is in a care facility as well. But it feels like so many people I love have been ill or died that I can't cope. I can't even find out about my cousin in the midwest, and two aunts have recently died. It's all too much. The bright spot is my son, his wife and our grandson visiting for 3 weeks. The grandson is feeling better each day, and soon we will be able to get outside more and engage in the world. We hope by Sunday to feel he is no longer contagious and we haven't picked the virus up ourselves.