Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today was "off" for me. It took a long time to get my grandson to sleep for his nap, he didn't really eat any lunch, and we couldn't have him play outside because it was so wet from yesterday's rain. I pulled out the Little Critters and that helped, but he was a bit bored. Then I was supposed to have a phone consult with my doctor as I had no renewals on three prescriptions, and she was over an hour off in calling, and then I had to tell her about my daughter dying and she said I could have antidepressants, whic I don't feel I need. I also have to get lab work, and that makes me nervous, with the covid surge. Then I had to call my pharmacy, wait twenty minutes on hold, so I could get the meds sent to my house. I missed saying goodbye to my grandson, and I was too grumpy to cook dinner, so we made BLTs. I feel like my fur has been rubbed the wrong way. I left my husband watching THX 1138 and came out to my studio to order some more Christmas gifts, but I'm too rattled. I'll leave it until tomorrow. I find myself very disturbed around any medical stuff since my daughter's death, so there definitely is PTSD going on, and I try to remain rational, but I'm fighting aversion to medicine and doctors. I know they are heros and overwhelmed, but it triggers a deep disturbance in me when I flash back to my daughter's disease and death. It's been almost six months, but it seems like yesterday. A nightmare I cannot awaken from. Grief is like that.