Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I'm reading Roxane Gay's Hunger, and it is so immediate and direct and powerful and honest that it stands as a Right Speech beacon.  It makes me want to be raw and true as she is.  But I'm afraid of the people I might hurt if I ever was so transparent.  That is the balance, isn't it?  Between being your true self and speaking who you are and hurting others in that indulgence?  How to walk the tightrope - that is the question.  So there is more silence and more caution and less sharing, at least in my case.  I first noticed my father's bluntness hurt others, and swore not to be that way.  But in my mind, was this ready reserve of sarcasm, like knives ready to be unsheathed.  So I began to distrust my impulses and keep my own counsel, as they say.  Then I developed the "pause", and practice "thinking it over" before speaking.  Have I gone too far the other way?  It's hard to say.  But sometimes I long to say what I'm really thinking, but I don't trust the other person or myself.  I'm caged, a bit.  Is this civilization and wisdom or fear and lack of confidence in my right to my voice?  I don't know.