Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

When to speak up and when to wait?  What are you speaking up for?  Are you helping someone by speaking or will it hurt in some unintended way?  Do you have all the information you need to speak up?  Will you be a listener no matter what the response is from the other person?  All these considerations must be part of a mindful way of life.  I ask less questions than I used to, but listen more.  I am more likely to ask follow up questions to a subject my friend has introduced, rather than bringing up what might be a sticky topic and upsetting the friend.  Most things don't need to be discussed.  Gratitude and expressions of affection are good.  But probing is not.  I now realize how private a person I am and I protect myself more these days.  That in turn requires me to respect other's privacy.  Instead of "knowing" a person from what they say, I try to "feel" a person's state.  My heart leads more as I get older.  When my head is busy rehearsing what to say, I shut that line of thought down and let go.  What needs to be revealed will be, but maybe by body language, expressions or a feeling sense.  I used to process a lot through my mind, but not so much now.  I visualize my heart as a book with ears and open it up to listen that way.  As a consequence, I'm a kinder, gentler person these days.