Sunday, July 17, 2016

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I attended a baby shower yesterday and enjoyed myself, but didn't know anyone but the hostess, my friend, and after a while, I realized there was one enclave of people my age around a table but no space, and the rest were her daughter's age with babies and kids and no interest in someone my age.  I had some nice chatting with her college friend who was the daughter's godmother and co-host, and sort of hit a wall.  By that time I'd been there close to two hours and I slipped away, but felt guilty.  But not bad enough to sit alone or attempt to push my way into a group.  So I went home relieved that I'd done my duty.  But of course I wonder if another person would have found a way "in".  And I fear my friend will take offense. 
I'm probably overthinking it all as usual.  Honestly, I would have loved to talk to different people and maybe there was a way.  I could have sat down with the little children and colored with them.  But I'd just had a granddaughter for a week and what I wanted was adult conversation.  Thirty somethings can be unintentionally unkind, and show their disinterest in someone their parents' age.  And I can still feel rejected, no matter how old I am.  So I wasn't at the top of my game yesterday, and quit rather than fight it out.  That's okay.  Social gatherings are challenging, and I'll try to do better next time.

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