Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today my friend and I went to see an art show at a museum.  We decided to rent the audio and I later realized I used to be terribly prejudiced against using audio.  That was when I was a know-it-all.  Now I appreciate more the perspective of the voices of the curators, and in this case, the artist himself.  I don't want to be narrow and right, I'd rather be fluid and see others points of view.  Both my friend and I were impressed with the show and the artist.  Our viewing was facilitated by hearing what information the audio gave us, and enhanced by our own shared impressions.  The artist's wit and point of view were more easily absorbed because of the audio.
Right speech is also right shutting up and letting an expert guide and enlighten you.  We did that and came out of the museum enthusiastic and with postcards of our favorite works.  Now there is added color in our world, with this discovery of an artist we both respond to.  Delightful!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I believe my female dog is playing a trick on me.  She collapses when we walk, then I let her rest a minute then tell her to get up and she does.  I think she likes the attention.  Yes, she's old, and pants, and has fatty lumps all over her body and arthritis, but really, her secret is she wants me to talk to her more.  And she has a valid point.  Since she doesn't move around much any more, or get on my bed when I'm reading, or follow me around room to room, our face time has been limited.  I can't throw the ball any more, or convince her to chase after a dog toy.  I she wants to be talked to.  I understand completely.  I pick up the phone when I get that way, but she hasn't mastered that device.  She's demanding more attention, and I get it.
So I'm going to be careful to have more discussions with her, and stop when I go by to give a pat and say something.  It's going to take conscious effort on my part, but it's the right thing to do. 

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Yesterday my husband and I accompanied our younger daughter to look at cribs.  This was a lovely antidote to the news of the world, and a new baby gets everybody smiling.  We took the decision seriously because she did.  We certainly wanted a safe crib and non toxic in finish and green.  We found one we all three agreed was a good choice.  Then we looked over the strollers, which are so different than my day and now come with carseat, bassinet, and whirlpool bath (just kidding about the last).  They cost about what a used car does, but they are amazing.  Then we took a gander at baby clothes, toys, and all the stuff the baby doesn't need really.
I highly recommend talking babies or grandchildren.  Borrow a grandchild if you don't have one of your own.  I did that eleven years ago and she's still in my life, although now she's going off to junior high this fall I will not see her regularly.  I filled a need, and she filled my need for joy.  And when the eight year old grandchild came along I was fully ready and had those grandma skills.  New life:  it's affirming.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I'm getting a lot of emails asking me to speak out against Trump, but I can't see the point.  I will speak FOR something but not engage in a Mad Hatter tea party.   The irrational movement will have to get along without me having the delusion I can "wake people up".  Argument requires critical thinking ability, and I don't see any of that capacity in the Republican campaign.  I'm hoping that seeing the debates will make it obvious who has the skill to be president.  But people who are determined to tear down our traditions and bring chaos in the name of this country are not acting like citizens, but toddlers.  I believe in dissent, but within the law.  I believe in speech, but without character assassination and name calling.  I believe in inclusiveness, not divisiveness. 
I've had enough of the Supreme Court interfering with elections, a representative party halting the process to confirm a Supreme Court judge, the laws of the land being circumvented in devious ways, and lobbyists owning congresspeople, and Wall Street destroying lives with impunity. 
Let's get back to a law abiding, respectful society.  This is not the wild, wild west, and it was never intended to be. 

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I attended a baby shower yesterday and enjoyed myself, but didn't know anyone but the hostess, my friend, and after a while, I realized there was one enclave of people my age around a table but no space, and the rest were her daughter's age with babies and kids and no interest in someone my age.  I had some nice chatting with her college friend who was the daughter's godmother and co-host, and sort of hit a wall.  By that time I'd been there close to two hours and I slipped away, but felt guilty.  But not bad enough to sit alone or attempt to push my way into a group.  So I went home relieved that I'd done my duty.  But of course I wonder if another person would have found a way "in".  And I fear my friend will take offense. 
I'm probably overthinking it all as usual.  Honestly, I would have loved to talk to different people and maybe there was a way.  I could have sat down with the little children and colored with them.  But I'd just had a granddaughter for a week and what I wanted was adult conversation.  Thirty somethings can be unintentionally unkind, and show their disinterest in someone their parents' age.  And I can still feel rejected, no matter how old I am.  So I wasn't at the top of my game yesterday, and quit rather than fight it out.  That's okay.  Social gatherings are challenging, and I'll try to do better next time.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

We watched the unfolding chaos in Turkey from late afternoon yesterday.  It was on top of Nice, and again, I had this feeling of doom.  There was transparency to some extent because of people's phones and cameras and a determination to get what was going on out to the world despite the military blackout.  We were rooting for a peaceful solution and no death, but that was not to be.  Yet it was over pretty quickly, leaving us with sympathy on both sides and not knowing what is best for the Turkish people.  They are understand such stresses from migration, ISIS, terror attacks.  We can't really even imagine.  But we tried.  We tried to be there in spirit with them and pray for resolution and nonharming.
My heart goes out to Europe as it struggles with reactionary impulses, an overflow of immigrants, economic downturn and wondering what the British withdrawal from the EU will mean.  We have our own turmoil here, but it seems to pale in comparison.  Fear of the unknown is a powerful force for harming.  Luckily, there are many people speaking up for calm and compassion.  And many of us praying for stability and solutions to the myriad of problems besetting ordinary people trying to make a life for themselves and their families. 

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Many of us feel assaulted by the news these days.  Yesterday's tragedy in Nice was almost unbearable.  My husband and I remember our honeymoon (delayed 16 years) there and how lovely and friendly the town was.  We went to the market each day, and promenaded along the sea wall.  That it should happen on Bastille Day is the same as such a thing happening on our Fourth of July.  What are the words?  There are no words, just as the faces of Obama and Bush said everything and their speeches little in Dallas a few days ago.  This is evil destruction, a tearing down of humanity and kindness and connection.  This is unspeakable.
Is this what it felt like in the 1930s in Germany?  An overriding sense of horror and seemingly no way to stop it?  I wish my parents were alive to tell me what it was like.  This is a dark, silent moment.  Tears and sobbing the only sounds from our throats.  None of us know what to say to each other.  And taking action seems confusing:  what action?  where?  how?  We need guidance, wise words, and comfort and connection.  I hope our leaders are up to the task.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I'm floating on air because my granddaughter's visit was just lovely.  She was cooperative and fun and enthusiastic, and loved almost everything we did.  We did a long car trip and she entertained herself beautifully.  Of course, Universal Studios and Disneyland worked their magic, and she was appreciative about everything.  I'm especially proud that when I made a bargain with her about getting Hermoine's wand and the cloak from Hogwart's, that would be it for souvenirs, so none from Disneyland, and sure enough, she never asked for a thing from Disneyland.  I bought several pictures of the 3 of us for her to take home, so that will be her souvenir from there.  At eight, she's reasonable and never complained about lines, heat or hunger, though we tried to keep her hydrated and fed.

She's a delightful child and makes being with her pure pleasure.  Our joy is amplified by hers, and we get to be kids again and feel the magic.  When she was playing with her baby cousin yesterday, we all lay on the grass and played with blocks and balls.  Grandkids are a miracle.  We are very lucky and grateful.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

We just came back from our neighborhood 4th of July parade with a band on a truck, speeches, singing, the ringing of the bells for the 13 original states, watermelon, cotton candy, snow cones and lots of babies, kids and dogs.  This year two of our kids came with their friends.  And their friends' babies.  It was delightful!  And the young speaker talked of young Hamilton, Larens, and Lafayette, and how they were teenagers and changed the course of history.  It's such a sweet, old fashioned event.  All my love of country arises each year, and I put on red, white and blue and decorate our dogs as well.  Symbols are good.  They remind us of where we came from and what we share.  I hope some of that sentiment survives this election.  In the meantime, today I'm grateful for my country, its people and my life here.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I'm grateful our local paper is highlighting a series on homelessness in San Francisco.  It's a huge problem and no one seems to be able to find a viable solution.  Making these invisible people visable is the model of right speech.  We walk our streets disturbed, but aside from giving a dollar or two, and maybe donating to food banks, we tacitly accept this situation.  Most of these people are mentally ill or have addiction problems, and they need support.  They cannot "pull themselves up by their bootstraps".  It's shameful that such a wealthy area tolerates this suffering before our eyes.  We need enough housing, most of it with care workers and supports that keep these people from doing drugs and also gives them the counseling and medications they need to be fully themselves.  I hope this series of articles pushes local government to take action and put money towards a comprehensive program.  This problem is not the police's problem, or church organizations, it's our problem and we have to demand our legislators tackle it now.  They say newspapers aren't necessary anymore, but they are for stories like these, and the repercussions that ripple to the internet and put pressure on government.  Good job1

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I just finished singing happy birthday to our younger son.  He said he'd already put the phone on speaker because he knew it was me.  Normally my husband and I do a duet, but he's away today.  I love doing this silly thing to my very grown and mature kids, and I never miss.  Parents are the people least likely to forget your birthday, and the only witnesses to your birth.  I like to celebrate it.  It is a tradition in our family to make a fuss over birthdays.  We've scaled back on Christmas and do a gift exchange and only have one gift to buy.  But we try to get together for dinner out for each birthday, and my husband and I are generous for that gift and also still get a cake and make a big deal out of it.  We do it for spouses and signifigant others as well.
It's singing speech, but it is oh so right!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Our daughter was having her 20 week pregnancy ultrasounds yesterday, and late afternoon I texted her to see how it went.  She didn't respond.  I knew she had a friend visiting, but I kept checking my phone.  My husband got nervous as well.  This morning he said he was worried and I suggested he call her.  He did.  She answered right away and apologized for not getting back to us.  Everything looked good on the tests.  But we had manufactured a lot of scenarios in the absence of news.  All this testing is hell on us grandparents.  She was fine:  its the new order of things.  We get spooked.
Negotiating this tech culture is hard on us oldies.  Luckily, we restrained ourselves and didn't call her late last night.
Communication is strange and the rules unclear for those of us in the older generation.  They are cavalier; we are tense and expecting that if they can reach us so easily, they will.  Not true.  Another day, another challenge.