Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I'm trying to catch up with my to-do list this week. Last week and through yesterday we were helping our daughter while her husband was away. Today I had an eye appointment, made an appointment for having my eyeglasses lenses changed, got a haircut scheduled for tomorrow morning, planned a walk with a friend and another for Friday and talked to our younger son for an hour as well as called a friend to see how she was doing. Our weather is sunny and warm, which is dire for the drought, but at least means its easy to be outside and pleasant. I will soon begin the task of writing holiday cards and figuring out what pictures to copy of the grandkids to put inside them. We've taken a break from organizing the photos, but we did do more work on the basement, and it was satisfying to put the Thanksgiving decorations in labeled boxes and away on an easy to reach shelf. I plan on weeding out more toys that are too young for our grandsons, and I know just who to give them to - my friend's new granddaughter. I adore reuse. It's so gratifying!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Yesterday was an eleven hour day helping our daughter care for her two boys, aged 1 and 5. It involved Fairyland, opening presents, a subsequent puppet show since we'd gotten a doorway puppet theater for the turned 5 year old, chaotic lunch where the delivery was completely wrong, a walk and fighting over a truck, dinner and finally cupcakes and candles. The 5 year old was so exhausted and overwhelmed he couldn't think of a wish to blow out the candles. Daddy being gone was making him sad, and he really couldn't understand it. The 1 year old starting biting, and it was downhill from there until his bedtime. The highlights were us helping the 5 year old build a new Lego toy, the show with a parrot, two kitties and two snakes, and just giving our daughter time to do her laundry. We went home fried to a crisp, but not being able to imagine how she could have done it without us. Today our son-in-law comes in late, so maybe when our daughter comes to pick up the boys at our house after preschool, she can stay for dinner and I'll go back with her to her house to help with bath and bedtimes. Right now I feel annoyed with my son-in-law. Last week was our daughter's teaching break, but he was the one to go east for a wedding (his cousin), partying and since the wedding was Saturday, staying longer than he needed to and leaving her with six days of parenting alone. Not my business, except it's torture to see her so frazzled. Witnessing. That's all I can do.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

We had a nice morning yesterday, taking three grandchildren and their parents to a park with a rose garden and a long tall cement slide, which the six year old adored. Then we came home and had a New Orleans lunch delivered, with fried chicken, bisquits and other delights. Then are older son, his wife and the six year old packed up and drove home, and after recuperating a couple of hours, I headed over to my daughter's to help her out with the one and four year old boys, and we ate leftovers and after the boys were bathed and asleep, we watched a dumb romantic comedy which we thoroughly enjoyed. It had been a hard day for my daughter, as the four year old's best friend from preschool - his mother was in a bicycle accident and almost died. She was under the car, and not breathing when the paramedics arrived, got her out and rushed her to the hospital. She is now awake and expected to survive, but her pelvis is broken and she's pretty damaged. This afternoon my daughter will pick up her son's friend for a playdate. The couple also have twin older sons. So there was a flurry of meals to sign up for and just the shock of a sunny day turned nightmare. The mom was biking to meet her husband and sons for lunch, and she didn't show up. How the ordinary is mixed with the unthinkable. It is more often than we liked to believe.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I made jello salad and cranberry sauce this afternoon and listened to Christmas music on the radio. Just getting in the spirit. I love turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, the popovers I make and the pies my daughter-in-law bakes. We'll have three toddlers running around and a chaotic dinner very early to accomodate the early bedtimes, and I will and do already feel very blessed. My granddaughter will be doing her thing with her dad and friends, and our younger son will be among a mob of his wife's relatives and nine grandchildren, so I know they will be having fun as well. Perhaps the Thanksgiving story rankles a little, as I'm on the Native's side, but it's a good myth, and we all know the pilgrims would have starved without their Native neighbors. Being grateful is always a good idea, and it is the antidote to fear. So much fear is surging in this country that anything that encourages gratitude is helpful. I love living and am so grateful for my time here on earth. Life if precious.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today I accompanied my daughter to take her two boys to little Farm, and we brought lettuce and celery to feed the animals. The huge pink pigs with black spots loved the romaine lettuce and were polite about taking it gently from the boys. The geese loved the lettuce as well. The chickens were mainly uninterested, and the bunnies are not allowed to be fed, so we traipsed up the hill to the sheep, who were indifferent to either lettuce or celery, so we mosyed on down to the cows, those dependable creatures. They stuck their huge tongues out and ate the celery with relish. Their faces are so benign that it's practically theraputic to stand there gazing into their liquid eyes. If cows get irritable, I haven't witnessed it. Then we went over to a bench for a snack, and the feeding of every creature was complete.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today we bought more bins for our photos, though we don't know how many we need. Just a kind of security blanket. The culling of photos is challenging, and I'm in charge of that process. I generally get rid of: blurry photos, people I have no idea who they are, views with no people, and buildings. Why do we have so many buildings, when we have no idea what they house? As we plug along it's becoming more cheerful work, as seeing all the happy events, birthday cakes, smiles of our family, and the extraordinary beauty of our daughter who died remind us of our history as a family. There were more pictures of my brother than I dared hoped for, and seeing my parents, aunts and uncles and friends I've lost contact with comforts me. They are not just in my head. They are evidence of a full, engaging, rewarding life. I hope when and if my kids and grandkids peruse them, they will have a similar experience.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I'm reading Thomas Perry's new mystery "The Left Hand Twin", which features Jane Whitehead, a woman who makes people disappear who are in mortal danger. I don't like Perry's other characters, except for the old man, but Whitehead appeals to me because she is Seneca, full of resources to protect oneself, and she fulfills a dream I had when I worked in safehouses: to save women from being murdered. The books with her in them read like safety tips for women in the world. She teaches you how to protect yourself and where to live and what behaviors are risky. And Whitehead is a spiritual person and is married to a doctor who also has a vocation to help people. Perry is a terrific writer, and I slow down my reading to savor the plot and details. I want to keep this book going for a while.