Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

My husband has had a motorcycle parked in the garage for over twenty years. It has not been ridden and now, of course, the battery is dead. Our younger son tried to help him by suggesting that a friend would buy it, but that was years ago and he wasn't ready. Now, by chance, a AAA guy starting the battery on one of our cars asked about it, and suddenly, my husband is willing to give it to this guy. Never give up hope! I have no idea what is causing my husband to finally let go. I've not pushed him. He is saying goodbye to all his biking adventures, his memories and the fact that at his age now, he will not ride again. That's a hard process, and I respect it. As my Zen teacher used to quote Suzuki Roshi: "It takes as long as it takes". I have dreams I have had to give up, like seeing Machu Pichu and the Galapagas Islands. I have macular degeneration and cannot risk going to altitudes over 7,000 feet. We both gave up skiing and then cross country skiing. We constantly say goodbye to people and activities we used to love. Yet the compensations are great: grandchildren and great friends and new pursuits. Life has it's balances.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

While we were walking around a reservoir, my husband and I discussed Scify movies. We'd just finished Season 3 of "The Expanse", which we both really liked. I suggested there were mainly three kinds of scify movies: the warning,the universe is bigger than us, and the beware the machines films. In the first category are climate catastrophes like "2012", "Day After Tomorrow" and "Twentyeight Days Later". Bigger than us are: "Arrival", "2001" a Space Odessy", "Independence Day", "War of the Worlds", "The Day the Earth Stood Still", Interstellar" and "Deep Impact". Machines films are: "AI", "Terminator", "Her", "Monority Report"", "Edge of Tomorrow", "Chappie", "Blade Runner" and "Forbidden Planet". Some scifys are fantasies, I guess, like "Star Wars" and "Star Trek" and "A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". Then there is "Space Balls", which I love, which spoofs the genre, and "Star Troopers". All the films can be escape, or point out problems we face as a planet. For me, in my generation so afraid of atomic war, "Terminator" expresses my fears as a teenager. "Arrival" and "Interstellar" give me hope for healing and evolution of our humanity to a higher plane. Climate fears get faced in movies like "Day After Tomorrow. During the Trump years, I loved watching "World War Z", with zombies taking over the planet. "Gut up" Brad Pitt's character told an Israeli soldier after he hacked off her hand. Indeed!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

We celebrated our son-in-law's birthday last night and we were all thrilled to eat dinner INSIDE. The little boys, one and four, loved the balloons, beads and hot wheels cars, and both ate the "cake" a key lime pie. The boys like crusts. My daughter looked nice in a skirt, which reminded me I could have dressed up a bit, but I'm so out of practice I forgot. The little guys were good through dinner, though the four year old wanted us to hurry up and finish eating so we could have cake. After, he danced around the living room with his balloons and necklaces, and even tried a break dance move, copied from his year older cousin. We didn't have the rest of the family, but still, it felt more like before covid. Today I talked with a dear friend from graduate school and got tips on how to find a puppy. They just closed the deal on one, and she was going out after to buy leashes, dog toys and treats. I believe this fall we will look for one ourselves. And it's sunny today, so everything seems more possible.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I just finished a long phone conversation with my exson-in-law's mother. She lives back east, so we seldom see each other, but I adore her son, my granddaughter's father, and I've always appreciated the warmth and friendliness of his parents. His father has been gone many years but his mother is funny, wise and so interested in so much in the world. I wanted her to be assured that her son and granddaughter were doing well. But I also just like talking to her. She is trying to decide whether to sell her house and move, because the son she lives nearby is moving west to be by one of his sons, and she probably needs to relocate by one of her four sons. It involves a lot of decision making and since her sons are all in different areas of the country, two out west, one down south and one in a city that no one can afford to move to, it's quite a delima. She's lived in the house all her married life and raised four sons there, but last year four of her friends died, and she has no attachments left to enliven her life. I feel lucky my kids are all on the same coast, a little over an hour's flight away, except for my daughter and son-in-law, who live a mile away. It's them who will help us when we need it, and our relationship anchors me where I am, surrounded by friends. But I could be in my in-law's situation, and I feel it deeply. It's true old age is not for sissies.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I completed the first step of renewing my driver's license today, by having an eye test and failing, getting the form for my eye doctor, and having my photo taken. After I have the exam and the form gets filled out, I'll have a driving test. They were pleasant at the DMV and it took under an hour. I'm grateful. Then my husband and I walked with our friends a couple of miles to a South Asian restaurant we like and gorged ourselves on Tikka Masala, Saag Paneer and the like. Then we walked home hoping to burn a couple of hundred of the million calories we ate. Tonight we are having curry at our daughter's house, and are invited early so we can watch the boys while she cooks. a definite India theme today. Yesterday she received a job offer, and is happy to have a job teaching second grade in the fall. Now she can relax this summer knowing her job search is over. She is really going to be stretching herself, but we hope to help a bit. I did it, but now I just can't remember how!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I took a walk and had lunch with my Buddhist swim buddy. It is the Buddha's birthday, and with the eclipse and orange moon, she considered our meeting auspicious. We hugged for the first time in over a year, and with felt so good to be doing something together, instead of talking on the phone or texting. She showed me some of her favorite trees around where she lives, and an enchanting succulent garden that was rainbow colors and filled with surprises. She recommended a book I've heard about: Finding the Mother Tree, so I ordered it. During our meal her daughter kept trying to speak with her, and she told her she was at a cafe with me, and would call later, but the daughter kept texting. It was unsettling for me, and I am now wondering if there is some crisis developing. So I am still unsettled. Well, on the Buddha's birthday, what could be more appropriate than being unsettled?! Of course I am always and forever unsettled, I just seldom notice it. The joke's on me.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I'm thinking about George Floyd today, and his calling for his mother. Today my family is bouncing around ideas for our daughter's memorial service in the fall. Her daughter is participating actively, and I'm so proud of her. We all NEED this ritual, and we want to be inclusive. Our daughter had many friends and coworkers who miss her terribly. We want the service outside, an honoring of her amazing life. She has changed us forever, and anyone who felt the death of George Floyd is also changed. But us moms, we FEEL for George Floyd. He's our son, he's the baby and boy we made such effort to raise well, the man we are proud of, with that little boy still inside him as he died. He loved his mom. He wanted her to save him. She couldn't, but we can keep trying to save others whose voices have been silenced and unheard. We must march for justice, compassion and interconnectedness. Raise our voices, mothers, and treat every other person as your own child.