Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Another day of blue skies, and boy, do we appreciate it these days. And up north is going to get rain, so their air will clear. I am in a pod again with one of our kids, his wife and our grandson, and that feels great. We are babysitting the grandson today again. And yesterday I took a social distance walk in masks with my daughter and her baby, and we got to talk a bit. Her older boy is loving preschool, so her decision to start him seems to have been wise, and it gives her a break from two little boys, since her husband has long hours working from home and can only give her a break on weekends. Tonight we're going to have dinner delivered here with our son and though I don't miss eating out, I miss eating WITH. So we'll eat together the 5 of us. And if the air is okay tomorrow we're driving up to eat social distanced outside with our older son, his wife, and son. All this socializing! I'm in heaven1

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

It was great air today, and we babysit our 16 month old grandson and had fun with him, and we get to see our younger son and his wife. I felt really happy, even though because our daughter-in-law works for Save the Redwoods, we heard a piece of land they had just bought burned to the ground. They've had a lot of heartbreak seeing protected areas be devastated. I was going to say we are still not out of the woods, and ironically, that's exactly right. Our bad fire month is October, so lots of bad things can happen, but I'm praying they won't. The air was horrible again where our granddaughter and son-in-law live, and no end in sight. But I'm going to be grateful for a happy day today for me, and pray for the rest. I won't forget. None of us can. But we got to take a walk today. And it felt wonderful.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I just spent an hour talking to my childhood best friend, and we covered the gamut: the Post Office, the election, her brother, her boyfriend, the fires, and lots of book recommendations. Our discussions are fun and cheerful, and when she said it looked like it was going to rain there, I suggested she send it to us here. I know she would if she could. We aren't really much alike, but we feel like we're sisters, and you don't shake that. She has an older brother, and I had a younger brother, so essentially, we were sisters. Her life is of great importance to me, and I know mine is to her. Luckily, we both grew up on phone calls, so that method is comfortable, and it's like I'm twelve years old again. Comfort. Familiarity, trust, love.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I got a call this morning that our younger son his driving back here with his wife and son from Oregon. The air quality is scaring them there, and they have to be inside all the time. I'm worried about all my grandchildren, but especially the four little boys, because of their developing lungs. The baby is coughing, and their son is next oldest at a year and and a third. Everyone has air filters and is doing their best, but it may not be enough. I feel so sorry my kids have to be terrified for their kids, not just about the pandemic, but also the smoke and fires. And the political situation is frightening as well. All I can do is pray, and for today recognize that our air, as bad as it is, is better than it might be. Everything is becoming very relative. I can see some blue sky and sun and the trees are bright green. Color again comes to the rescue.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

One of the things I'm noticing when I talk to friends right now is an increased equanimity about whatever is happening: fire, pandemic, the upcoming election, losses, illness. It's as if the overwhelm has somehow settled them. I'm not saying there is no anxiety, of course we all feel it. But the sense than "this" will soon be over is dissolved. There is no timeline or endgame, and we now get that. There is more aimless pleasure in a Facetime call. Yesterday I spent a long time talking about nothing with my younger son, his wife and their son. We talked about water painting. I watched my grandson sit in various chairs and move them around. He poured cheerios from a measuring cup into a bowl (my idea), We avoided any serious discussion because we are living in a serious discussion. We just "chatted". That term is often used to diminish the connections between women, as if we are trivial. But chatting is creating a comfort zone for people we care about, and women have much more practice in this skill. I'm happy my son and husband also have skills in this area, and my other son and daughter as well. We're "checking in". It's circling around love, which is what is keeping us all going right now. There is no lessening of love during these current crises. I think we feel it more powerfully and our strength comes from our capacity for love. We don't have to DO anything, we can just BE.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I received two photos of my older two grandsons this morning. One was painting in front of an easel with his painting smock on, using a luscious green color on his paper. The other was observing a butterfly emerge from its crysallis and describing the bits of blue and red and a wash of yellow on its wings. Thus I was reminded by my wise grandchildren how much joy color brings to us, natural or people made. Yellow is the painter's favorite color, and I have to admit he's very persuasive. His room is newly painted yellow. My favorite flowers are daffodils, but I answer aqua when someone asks my top hue. But in times like these, the sheer cheerfulness of yellow is a triumph. I have a friend who years ago advised me to put a splash of yellow somewhere in every room, and I've pretty much done that. I even have a yellow guest bedroom, which does make me happy when I look in, and that is where my grandchildren sleep if they visit. I know that along with turning on music, seeing color around me, without any thought content, soothes. Our hearts are meant to soar at the sight. What a comfort!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today I woke up to news that the area where my son-in-law and granddaughter, son, daughter-in-law and grandson are living is being evacuated due to fire. I immediately texted, and they are not in the zone of evacucation but the air is terrible, as it is here. My anxiety is ratcheted up. We are all trapped on the west coast. We must stay inside and worry, for this situation, like the pandemic, is not going to fixed soon. In the north, there may be rain Monday. I hope so, but it won't help here. It would be fluky to have any rain here, though maybe in the mountains it's possible. We can't help up north, for we need our firefighters here. I've heard of no expression of sympathy from our president, not that I expected one. We keep in contact with each other through our phones. My son was saying if only they had another family with them in their house, but because of covid that isn't feasible. I feel the same way. If I could see my kids and grandkids, I would be comforted and give comfort, but I cannot. We're all in a trap, but each of us facing it without loving support. I pray this ends soon.