Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I've been helping today with my daughter and her two kids, 3 years and 4 mos. old.  It's exhausting!  But they leave no room for grief, as they are busy and clamoring for attention every second.  We took a long walk with the 3 year old on his scooter and me pushing the stroller with the baby.  We admired many flowers and bees.  We avoided people without masks, careless cars and dogs pulling to lick us.  We stopped in the shade so my grandson could eat his cut up pear.  I tried feeding the baby a bottle when we returned, but he wasn't having it.  However, he will eat a few spoonfuls of oatmeal.  The 3 year old and I played matchups, and delivery truck and read a book about how ramen was invented (thee quick kind).  I left ready to flop down in a chair and vegetate.  Now I am somewhat recovered and ready to tackle my mystery until I invent something for dinner not involving a salad, or maybe a grilled peach salad with something else to be discovered in the refrigerator. 

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

We had brunch outside at our friends' house, and it was two hours of normalcy, except for the wipes when I went inside to the bathroom and not passing food.  We hadn't seen each other in some time, and we shared updates about ourselves and our kids.  None of us had a sense of what is safe or unsafe, so we social distanced and wore masks part of the time.  Could we have the Covid and be asymptomatic?  Have we had it but not been tested?  Where is the rise in cases coming from?  The information is truly confusing and with no real guidance we are all winging it.  I concentrated on enjoying the back yard and seeing my friends and my husband was grateful to be able to talk to someone besides his therapist and me.  He doesn't have friends he communicates with anymore.  He lost his connections when he retired.  I couldn't live the way he does, but I am much more social, and both my parents were as well.  But I think he underestimates how much his isolation affects him.  Hopefully, he will make more effort to talk to others.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I spent all day talking on the phone:  our son, my childhood friend, two neighbors, etc.  Responding to previous calls and checking in.  And I feel comforted, though slightly exhausted.  I should have taken a walk, but oh, well.  The day has been overcast and I'm sick of walking around my neighborhood and avoiding people.  The runners think they own the sidewalk, as do the younger people with their tiny dogs.  Us old folk have to go out in the street and risk being hit by a car.  Courtesies are unraveling at an alarming rate.  One day we're opening up, the next we're closing back down, people have no symptoms but are carriers, I might go into a store, but then again it might be closed back down.  It's migraine producing.  This is the nightmare the depression must have been for my parents and grandparents.  NO END IN SIGHT.  So the little things are the only things to notice, and very carefully:  a song of a bird in a tree, the frogs at night, the siren of an ambulance, the hum of a plane overhead.  The world is on pause........

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

We spent the day with our three year old grandson, and as we returned home after dropping him off, a delivery of three books came from my favorite bookstore.  They might as well have been gold bricks.  I am thrilled to have something new to read.  I was getting through Bring Up the Bodies pretty well, but these books are mysteries, so more attune with my brain energy level right now.  I am, however, playing National Treasure with my four year old grandson, by Facetime, and he's getting a kick out of it.  Next week:  a new map and ten new clues.  Bless his heart, he's totally enthusiastic.  I used to be good at treasure hunts for my kids' birthdays, but I haven't done this in many years.  Next week, I am determined to have the clues rhyme, as I did back in the day.  Wish me luck!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today my fourteen month grandson played with a hose, a bucket and a watering can.  He was in a state of bliss.  Water and dirt, the two great fascinations of the toddler.  If I tried to give him the hose while it was turned off, he pointed at the faucet.  He could not be fooled.  The patio cement got well watered, but he had no real interest in the plants.  He went about his simple task over and over and over, stopping only to point up to the sky when a plane flew over.  He took two long naps, exhausted by his sacred water task.  I had only to watch and hope he didn't get too wet, which he didn't, as he is not old enough yet to want to soak himself.  The comfort of watching a child revel in the elements is infinite.  He knows to gravitate toward water, of which we are all composed and which represents life to all the earth.  He reminds me of what is important.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I friend of mine died recently and it was so soon after my daughter died I didn't get the details, but she was only 72, and such a life force.  She had five kids from two marriages, and she was the owner of the preschool my younger daughter went to when we moved here.  She was my friend and supported me as I grappled with my Dad dying of cancer, not knowing anyone and my kids beginning new schools and trying to make friends.  I was fond of her and our younger daughters became friends and occasionally classmates.  We bumped into each other at Parents' Nights and events, and when her older daughter took over the running of the preschool and then her son, I kept recommending the school to people because it was so gentle, filled with music, swimming lessons at the local pool, field trips to a science place, really such a safe nurturing place to be.  I hope her kids and grandkids find comfort in delightful memories of her, as I do.  I'm taking time out to grieve for her and acknowledge her loss.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today I talked to my therapist, helped my daughter with her two little ones, then sat outside with a good friend and talked.  The engagement with others really helps me feel better.  We are all starved for more connection, as well as stimulation, variety and a sense of safety.  I'm hoping people are able to tolerate these challenges without becoming enraged or alienated from others.  I'm praying for everyone's safety and that the kindness inside them will prevail.  Things are shifting rapidly, and some of this change will be beneficial, but it's difficult to see it in the middle of what seems to be utter chaos.  We must center ourselves so our calm radiates outward.  We all have the tools to do this - we just in the will to do it.  I do so hope more people will speak to and embody equanimity so that we may heal and understand our mutual dependence on each other.